So, after FOUR attempts over the past 12 days, Layla’s bone marrow transplant finally started last night. Chemo is hung, there’s no going back.

I was a little worried when, as we pulled into the parking garage, Layla started throwing up. She had been fine all day so I chalked it up to an aversion to the hospital. I’ve heard many stories of kids automatically getting sick in the parking garage. We checked in on the Bone Marrow Transplant floor and she didn’t have a temperature, so that was a plus. Dr. K said we would move forward regardless of the vomiting. At this point, the transplant must take place. Each day we wait will make it harder and harder to kill the remaining cancer cells, meaning the higher the chance of this monster coming back. We don’t want that!

So we press ahead and get settled in our room. She throws up again. And again. And again. For a total of 4 times in a 3 hour period. By this time I’m slightly freaked out. But Dr. K says we still press ahead. A fever is easier to treat than recurring Neuroblastoma, he says. Since he obviously has a great point, I concur and try to shut-up that nagging voice in the back of my mind. The one saying “Good God, woman, why are you letting your precious baby go into this transplant when she might be sick? Don’t you know that if she has a bacterial infection this could kill her?” Oh yes, I’m well aware. And it scares the hell out of me. But you know what else scares the hell out of me? The thought of this cancer coming back and Layla having to go through ALL of this, plus more, all over again. That really scares me! So I tell that little voice to shut-up and trust in God.

At 8pm Layla was given Penicillin, Tylenol, Demerol, Zofran, Cipro and Benadryl. She’ll take each of these drugs twice a day. Penicillin and Cipro to try to prevent any infections, Zofran for nausea (on her 2nd birthday Phenergan will be added), and  Benadryl, Tylenol and Demerol to try to avoid any adverse reactions to other antibiotics, chemo or blood transfusions. So she had all those meds given to her then her chemo was hung.

Melphalan, Carboplatin and Etoposide. Just take a minute to click on those links. It will blow your mind! She’s taken the oral and IV version of Etoposide (let me just say that trying to get an 18 month old to take oral chemo is NOT fun), and Cisplatin, which is the sister drug of Carboplatin. The platinum drugs – Carboplatin and Cisplatin cause hearing loss and a pre-disposition for leukemia later in life, not to mention several other long term side effects that are just plain scary. Melphalan, however, is the big daddy. It causes infertility. Yep, my 2 year old will never be able to have kids the “natural” way. While medicine has grown by leaps and bounds, and surely there will be a way for her to get pregnant in 30 years, she won’t be able to do it on her own. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but the fact that she has no say in the matter just breaks my heart. She has to give that up in order to save her life…and she doesn’t even know it.

So there’s no turning back now. Please pray for Layla. This will be a long, trying 6 weeks. Her body will be pushed to the limit. The chemo will destroy her immune system, making it impossible to recover on it’s own. Wednesday at midnight the actual stem cell transplant will take place. I’ll write more about that as it gets closer. For now, we must get past the chemo.

Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled. Psalms 6:2

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