Ativan, I Loathe You
Last night started off well. After a rough day of Layla feeling pretty crummy, she perked up when a sweet friend brought us Starbucks. Layla is in LOVE with Frappuccinos. Some days that’s all she’ll drink and I’m ok with that since they have like a billion calories. So when Miss K showed up with drinks in hand, Layla was over the moon. She drank about 1/3 of it and played with her stickers and toys. At 9pm Miss K leaves just as Layla throws up. (Frappuccino isn’t nearly as pleasant a smell coming back up).
I asked the nurse for Ativan because she wasn’t due for Zofran for a few more hours. Layla has taken Ativan many times in the past and it not only helps well with her nausea, but it is a strong sedative. I figured I’d go ahead and give it to her so she would be able to stop retching and fall asleep. Usually after about 4 doses of Ativan she has what is called a paradoxical reaction, which is basically a reaction that is exactly the opposite of what you expect. So instead of making her calm and relaxed, it makes her super hyper and on edge. I wasn’t too concerned with that since it would be the first time she had it this hospital visit.
WRONG!!
She took it and within minutes was jumping all over the bed, babbling in a different language and acting silly. Putting her baby’s head in the throw up bowl and making gagging noises, tickling me, and spinning in circles getting all tangled up in her iv tubing and laughing hysterically. I thought it was cute. Until about midnight when I wanted to go to sleep. I tried reasoning, bargaining, playing calm music, putting on a movie (thinking if she would at least sit quietly and watch I could sleep next to her). Nothing worked.
At 1am she started screaming a high pitched shrill scream. Shortly after she started vomiting. She alternated between screaming and throwing up until 5:30 this morning.
Finally, after 4 hours and 5 changes of clothing, she fell asleep. Just before the nurse came in to draw blood at 6am. Seriously. By this time I’m in tears because I’m so exhausted, Layla is exhausted, nauseous and feels like crap, and my poor neighbors are probably ready to hurl something through wall at us.
She went back to sleep around 7:30 and has been asleep ever since. The doctors are making their rounds now and they will wake her up when they come in. Thank God she only has 2 more days of chemo then the nausea will start to subside a little bit. It takes about 4 days for the chemo to completely leave the body and about 7-10 for the nausea to completely go away.
I can now add Ativan to the list of drugs that Layla doesn’t respond well too. As this journey goes on, that list is getting longer and longer.
Oh gosh! What a reaction! I am glad she is sleeping now, hopefully you can close your eyes and rest! I sent stickers, hoping you guys would get them before your hospital stay, but who knows….I figured that may occupy some time! Hang in there! You are an awesome mommy!
I have been keeping up with Ms. Layla since you started twitter. I don’t remember how I found out about her but she’s like a drug that I am addicted to. (I’m not on drugs, that was just a saying..lol). I wake up in the mornings wondering how she is doing and before I go to sleep at night, I wanna know that she’s okay. I have all my family and friends praying for her, and most of the time, they call me wondering how Layla is doing. I have no idea what you are going through, although I know the feeling of staying in hospitals. My son Keagan went through a liver transplant in 2003 and passed away a few months later at 2 yrs old. I also have another daughter Kaidence who had a liver transplant in 2006 at 9 months old, she is now 4. Both times, Keagan and Kaidence had both stayed in the hospital for 3 months at a time, and I can remember looking out the window, wishing I was some of those people walking around without a worry in the world. I think you are the strongest person I have ever seen. You always have positive things to say and you always post pics and let everyone know how Layla is doing. I will continue to pray for her and I wish ya’ll the absolute best. I know I can’t do much, but if ya’ll need anything at all, please email me and let me know!! Again, I feel like Layla is a part of my life now and I’m ready for the good news saying her transplant work and she is on her way home!!!
When my kids were young would give them dimetap. It would work great, they’d go to sleep and all was well with the world…until the next day. Then they’d bounce off the walls! Hope you can both get some sleep tonight!
Always here praying!
Psalm 50:15: And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.
Prayer Bears
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I have been spreading the news about Layla Grace and just want you to know that my family and I have her in our prayers her in Oklahoma. I have posted her story on my mom board so prayers are being said all over the USA for your family and little girl. Keep up the fight we are all with you in prayers, thought, and spirits!!!!!
Stopping by to let you know I’m still here, still praying! Hope things have calmed down there today and that they’re going better!
II Corinthians 12:8-10 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Prayer Bears
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Continuing to pray!
II Samuel 22:29-33 For thou art my lamp, O LORD: and the LORD will lighten my darkness.For by thee I have run through a troop: by my God have I leaped over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him. For who is God, save the LORD? and who is a rock, save our God? God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.
Prayer Bears
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Oh wow. So sorry! I will continue to remember you guys in prayer! -Cole
Still praying in Seattle!
Psalms 31:1-3 In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness. Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Prayer Bears
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What a brave little girl you have raised! As a teacher we see so many children with the same behaviors and attitudes as their parents…Layla has a wonderful role model at her side!
Hugs to you during these difficult weeks!